I’m not really busy right now – and I’m okay with that actually. In a few weeks I’ll be busy again, and preparing for an insane summer wedding season. So right now, in the moments when I’m not at the cube farm or watching Gossip Girl, I find myself spending every last moment with my two darling girls; Playing, adventuring, laughing, tickling, living. The things I miss when I’m working – which I tend to do all. the. time. Last night, as I was falling asleep I realized I don’t take any photographs of my life. The moments I live. Every single day. And I remembered a conversation that occurred a couple of years ago – when someone asked if I would consider taking photos professionally. “I don’t want it to be work,” I said. “I don’t want to need a break-and work tends to do that to you-it takes the joy out of something. Forces you to quit…working…whenever you don’t have to.” That was my answer then. I was afraid to be a photographer because I didn’t want the business of….well, business….to steal my joy. My passion. I never wanted to be robbed of the reason I picked up a camera in the first place. I laid in bed wondering if exactly what I was afraid would happen…happened. Because I haven’t picked up my camera just because in what feels like ages. Because I don’t consciously take it with me wherever I go (the thing is quite heavy!) I didn’t bring it to the zoo yesterday, or the beach last Saturday, or all the million places in between. The places where I live my life. Where my life….happens.
Tonight, as my girls and I played outside, waiting for a spring storm to blow its way into our front yard, my kids’ faces smeared with chocolate and BBQ sauce, wearing stained shirts and scrubby tennis shoes, I grabbed my camera. Even though they weren’t wearing matching Gap dresses and perfect pigtails. Even though there is a giant red pickup truck in our driveway, and cable boxes, and air conditioners and rocks. Even though – it wasn’t the perfect location. Scoped. Strategized. Planned. Because life, I realized, isn’t a photo session. The beauty of being a photographer – of documenting the existence of life, of people and love and beauty, and telling stories – isn’t in perfection or planning. It’s in the mess of everything unplanned and spontaneous. It’s a cacophony of minutia. Tonight, it took the form of laughter and bickering and dirty, ugly Wal*Mart tennis shoes. Messy hair and stained faces. Dirty fingernails and scraped knees. Hide and seek and summer storms. Diapers and puddles. It’s every little thing I’ve looked at a million times ……. but rarely ever see.
Tonight: All of these things were part of a collective. A perfect, haphazard, unplanned collective semblance of life. With two toddlers. In a rainstorm.
These images are some of my most favorite – ever. I processed them in Lightroom using VSCO film and I am obsessed with every single frame. Maybe it’s because I’m hopelessly in love with the subjects – or maybe, just maybe, it’s because I didn’t get out my camera tonight trying to be anything. Trying to prove anything. Trying to wow anyone. I just took it out to shoot. To free myself in the creation of art. In the telling of their story. This story.
These are my children. Exactly as they were on Wednesday, June 6th, 2012. Exactly as they are supposed to be.
hmm. so sweet. honestly. i can tell how in love you are.
i understand completely. so much so that sometimes … i take my camera with me for an entire day. and just capture everylittle moment. but not with perfection in mind or composure or isos or spot on focus. just for remembering. things like what finn’s hair looks like when he pops out of bed. or stella’s crabby face when i tell her for the umpteenth time that she needs to come upstairs for dinner. or cora’s sleepy morning sighs. pancakes. and ants on a log. soccer balls and park swings.
thanks for the reminder to get on that friend. tomorrow’s the day. :)
Fist pump to the “hell yeah!” sista. (Shouldn’t somebody be yelling out “freedom!” right about now? ;) xo
Oh wow. I love them. I love these girls and I’ve never met them. They are part of you and all of you is wow so amazing. You are a wonderful mother, photographer, creator of special memories for your girls. And you are an amazing artist. I feel what you must have been feeling when you took these. I’m going to hug you now. oooooooooo.
It’s been a long time since you shared a day in the life with these girls. Thanks! My heart simply explodes. it’s full of these girls and you, my amazing daughter.
Oh my goodness, how much fun!! So lovely. x
Every image is captivating. Anything that is authentic is beautiful :)
this is amazing. i would pay some serious money for you to photograph my life and my imaginary children in such a way. and your words. they hit my heart every single time. you are seriously one of the most creative people i have ever known and i’m so honored you consider me a friend! i just love every single frame. genius. all of it.
you really should market yourself the way you described this work. :)